2015 - My Life, My Story

Someone wise once said...if you have a goal you want to reach, put it on paper and create tasks that will make you achieve the goal. 2014, for me, was just about that!
 

2014 started for me with a clear focus on what I want from my role at my workplace. It started with tremendous planning and goal-setting exercises. This included creating my 2014 Roadmap and focusing on some important personal goals – vacation, driving and a daily exercise routine. I started on both fronts with a lot of rigour, and I’m glad that I feel a sense of accomplishment with executing my 2014 strategy on both fronts. I also achieved milestones such as a Director’s award, which came early this year, a much-awaited promotion, which came around the mid of this year, two super fun holidays, and my new car! 

My son turned two this year, which kept me on my toes at home (literally!). Handling a two-year old can be equally entertaining and maddening. His cheerful chatter keeps my mind and ears full and the positivity going. I’ve probably learnt life’s most important lesson from him – the strongest of will and the most positive attitude. Children have a sea of positive energy in them and it’s infectious. You can learn how to be stubborn with your demands from them. This has made me tough and relentless with myself with what I want – so a huge change of attitude for me from becoming “adjusting and cooperative” to “assertive and demanding”. I know motherhood needs a lot of those behaviours, to start with! 

2015 will build on the person I’ve now become. It will be a year in which I will try new things at work – more innovation, more strategy, more risk-taking. It will also be a year in which my daily exercise regimen will change from morning jogs to practising yoga. It will be a year of driving to work and  an international vacation. More so, it will be a year of getting rid of the “can’t do”&  “won’t happen” feeling and belief in the “It will happen”. 

I’m feeling very content at the end of 2014 and geared and excited for the coming year!

The Millennial Parent

Life isn't easy for a parent of a two and half year old who wants to strike a fine balance between a flourishing corporate career and a nourishing home. Sometimes, I wonder whether women choosing to break the fences of what was historically their "core role" and venture into the "man's world" was actually worth it! Should we have continued to be homemakers and not chosen to have this life? Well, as I realize, definitely not - in stead, let's get creative when we create a fine balance for ourselves.

I think we give the world so much more if both genders are skilled in performing both roles in society - not based on what's "assigned" to us, but based on what we're better "skilled" for. I believe that neither a man nor a woman should have "assigned" roles, this way we restrict both from doing something that they might really be good at. In stead, let both choose the tasks they're good at and perform those! This might work so well for family, relationships and children as well. Example: My husband is good with cooking and I'm good with running errands, he teaches my son way better than I do and I'm better at singing rhymes with him - so we divide our tasks not as per the role we are "assigned" to do (by society) but the role we are "skilled" to do.

I guess a perfect equilibrium is attained when we decide to do what works for us, not what we're supposed to do. In stead of seeking to be an "ideal" mom or wife, it's more exciting to paint our own picture of our own "ideal" and bring it to life!

Love means...?

While I was growing up,
Love was always a mystery
And then when I met you
It became a bigger mystery :-P

Because I chose to fall for
The man who doesn’t follow any rules
He chooses to give life
His own dimension
And so does he give love
A very new meaning
I realized that love may not mean
To express
But it surely means
To be there for the person you love
When they badly need you
It might not mean
To shower praise
But it surely means
To make them feel good when they’re in the dumps

It probably also means to grow together
To share jokes and make fun of things and people like buddies
To care for parents and family together
To be foodies and say cheers together
To travel and explore new things together
To become children and fight and play together
To discuss events, movies and politics like no one else’s business
To read, listen to music and sing badly together

More than anything else, it means being together
No matter what...

Reality bites.....HARD!

Watching the news this morning after very long, normally I prefer reading the news. Less than 30 mins and I hear: -UP Cabinet member mocks deaths from cold in Muzaffarnagar, says no one can die of cold! -20 year old gangraped in Pondicherry TWICE -blast in Jalpaiguri How much depression can you handle within 30 mins! You're being mocked for being a woman, being poor and helpless...all at the same time! So I switch to a music channel and my masaledar bollywood numbers lighten me up...maybe Bollywood is the way it is for a reason - theraptic in its own way! This is how we deal with being helpless about our situations - switch off and forget abt it...dont know for how long though!

Falling short of life

Lots of things in my mind right now...feels like life is speeding away and eroding me in this speed. I dont think I am able to savour the flavours of happiness as much as I'd like but grief takes me to the rock bottom of my sensibility. Im wondering why is that? Im trying hard to take in every bit of a day's experiences but everything seems too much, too overwhelming! I feel a huge burden on me...I feel I need two of me to carry it all...my being is so insuffiecient for it. There are things that I need from life but I somehow dont find the means to do it...its like I have a path to go and life is pulling me towards a different path and its happening ALL THE TIME!Its just so entangled...everything aroud me...will I be able to untangle this mesh?

Hey beautiful!

Hey B'ful! He said to me one day when I was walking towards my friend to leave for a shopping trip. Of course it felt good. That why girls invest so much time in getting it right! But I didnt give in - let's play hard to get, I thought!

He looked good, spoke well, and was charming and attractive. I almost felt like I struck it right. That was the start - a lot of great conversations followed - each time making me feel more and more confident that I really got it right this time! What followed was a dream - engagement, wedding and so on. It was perfect!

We settled down, taking each day as it came, with a will to be with each other, spend time with each other no matter what. Jobs, assignments, family issues came and went each surfacing one part of us that the other didnt know of. As time passed by I didnt realise how much of him I was becoming and how much of me I was losing in the process. Little did I realise how much of me was eroding away bit by bit.

After a point, he started gaining stature in more ways than one. I got trampled more and more - starting to feel like I couldnt get anything right - my thoughts, my actions, even the way I looked! The only thing that always stayed with me was..."Hey Beautiful!"

And thats what it always is - isnt it? You start with feeling like you're this wonderful princess who the world can fall down for and the rest of your life is spent making you realise what a big loser you are to even think you were remotely capable of being wonderful!

Full circle, isnt it? I'm left asking a lot of questions...are you?

The Paradox Called...Thinking Women!

Ok...this needs to be taken in the right spirit to start with!...I have often heard our "male species"  say...women n brains?...no way!...well, if we are women and we have the brains...can they really handle it?? don't try answering that (of course).

Sometimes I find myself asking the qs...who am I? Am I someone who doesn't know what she wants? A wanderer...who takes everything that comes her way...who has the desire to identify and relate to people but ends up failing miserably most often. Someone who loves music but doesn't quite understand the "music" ppl hear in screams that they call metal. Looking at that perfect girl in office, who thinks "Damn..high time I shape up!!" but then...whats in a life without good food;)

Someone who wants money and as much as a flawless skin...and wants every conversation to be enriching...who wants to be the cynosure of all attention but fears too much limelight. Who wants to nurse the wanderer in her but wants to be by her love all the time...!

So many confusions???...well that's my world...the world of paradoxes of thinking women:)